"The 5 Toughest Questions Women Ask And Their Answers" The Questions Are: What are you thinking? Do you love me? Do I look fat? Do you think she's prettier than me? What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument, and/or divorce, if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:  What are you thinking? "The proper answer to this question, of course is I'm sorry if I've been pensive dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time which was most likely one of these five things: Baseball Football How fat you are How much prettier she is than you How he would spend the insurance money if you died The best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said "I'd be talking instead of thinking." The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers. "Do you love me? The correct answer to that question is YES!! For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer Yes Dear!! Wrong answers include: I suppose so Would it make you feel better if I said yes? That depends on what you mean by love Does it matter? Who, me? "Do I look fat? The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state No, of course not and then to quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include: I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either. Compared to what? A little extra weight looks good on you. I've seen fatter. Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy. "Do you think she is prettier than me? The she in question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring so hard at that you almost cause a traffic accident, or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is: Not prettier, just pretty in a different way. I don't know how one goes about rating such things. Yes, but I bet you have a better personality. Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner, "What would you do if I died? The correct answer: Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way. This may be the stupidest question of the lot as if illustrated by the following stupid joke! "Dear", said the wife, "What would you do if I died?" "Why dear", said the husband, "Why do you ask such a question?" "Would you remarry?", persevered the wife. "No, of course not," said the husband. Don't you like being married", said the wife? "Yes", said the husband. "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" "Alright", said the husband. "You would?"said the wife, looking vaguely hurt. "Yes," said the husband. "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause. "Well, yes, I suppose I would," replied the husband. "I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?" " I suppose, if she wanted to," said the husband. " Really," said the wife icily. " And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?" " Yes, I think that would be the correct thing to do!" " Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet! " And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs too?" " No," answered the husband quickly, " She's left-handed"